Hello Mittens.
Write down how or what you are feeling, start a thread.
Get it out of ya but not with the poison. Any kind of slip is very often paid very dearly. The cravings come back in tidal waves and the result is what you already know. 8 months is amazing. You must be borderline on turning the page on cravings and AV.... I can only wish I was at 8 months today.
God dont throw it away. Pick yourself up, break the cycle and dont victimise yourself. You are worth it.
Take care of yourself.