Newchange

Hi I am coming into this forum for a little bit of advice. I am a 29 year old mother of 5. I am currently pregnant and considering abortion because I don't know if I should bring another child into this toxic relationship. I have 3 children from a previous relationship and my last 2 are with my current partner I am pregnant by. He is a major alcoholic he has gave me a black eye when I was pregnant with my last child which is 2yrs old now. Also has knocked me out when I was pregnant with the same child. I did not leave which was dum I know. I honestly thought he would change. I had my last 2 kids 10months apart which made me have major post partum depression. By the time my youngest was 2 months I rounded up catching a case because my bf was drunk and very disrespectful and I had had enough of the abuse. I tried to run him over with my car and was arrested. I did 17 months of probation he stayed with me through all of it still drinking. I then began to regain my mental strength and went back to school when my youngest was 6 months I graduated this past July. During that time my bf went to school and graduated in September ( some days he didn't go and I would cover for him because he was drunk). We moved into a new place and I thought we were getting better. He still drank but acted as if he was slowing down, but hen I began to find liquor bottles around the house. I dealt with it and kicked him out for a day or two for him to sober up. He would come back and the routine would continue for nine months. NOW I have had enough I officially kicked him out ( it's been three weeks). But he showed up this weekend drunk my 6yr old opens the door without my knowledge ( of course he was excited to see him and unaware of our current situation). He stumbled in picks up the kids tell them he loves them. I ask him to leave he begins yelling I came to see my kids I can see my kids. I tell him when you sober up I'd be glad to bring them to you. He leaves and comes back a few hours later banging I don't open the door. A few hours later he does the same thing. I talk to him through the door asking him to stop or I'm calling the police. He then yells out saying he needs to see my stomach and make sure I didn't get a abortion. I was so hurt at the whole situation I sat in m room and cried. My children miss him alot I miss him as well. This relationship is so toxic I can't even fathom allowing him back into my home with my children. He texts me crazy things and leave me rude messages since he has been gone so I blocked him from calling or texting. He is supposed to come get all of his things soon, but it's so hard mentally preparing myself to see him walk out with everything. He threatens me with getting with another girl, it use to affect me but now I see he does it to get a reaction that I won't give him. This is so hard mentally. I just need reassurance I've made the right decision. I want to abort my child because of all of this but I can't bring myself to do it.