Thank you, everyone. It's clear to me this second (and hopefully final) go that I still had a lot to learn. Somewhere down the line I stopped being an active participant in my sobriety. I also lost the grace of humility and stopped respecting and accepting my limitations.
It doesn't feel like a hangover really, it's more like around evening time my mouth dries up (I keep ginger ale stocked) and that indescribable sensation overcomes my body, though not nearly as powerful as before. I get restless and recognize what it is. As Sassy says: acknowledge, think it through and then put it to rest.
Yes Wayne - you're right. This last relapse I started to experience some far more worrisome physical manfestrations; a dull pain and swelling where my gallbladder is. I had blood tests and a CT scan, which indicated nothing out of the ordinary but when your body indicates pain, it's telling you something is very wrong. You don't need a doctor to tell you. Unbelievably, after spending all day at the hospital, as soon as I got the "good news" I went straight to the store to buy wine.
I complete agree, Scott. Addiction has taught me to seek immediate reward over temperance and patience. Now I have to relearn those graces whether I want to or not.
Three weeks and going for four. The long weekend was relaxing for the most part, but getting back into a routine will be helpful. As soon as I finish work, I head for the gym; not only is it a great way to get those endorphines flowing but a great diversion from more tempting avenues.
I will accept the longer duration into feeling physically myself again as the dues I pay for returning to what God saved me from once already. It has to be this way, lest I don't learn.