Originally Posted by
Soulful 
Last night I actually cried. I miss him, but I became even more frustrated with myself, because I am not really sure who or what I miss. I am not sure if he was ever sincere with me, if he actually loved me.
I'm so sorry. I completely relate to this. It's so painful and so difficult questioning what was real then vs. what is real now. It makes you doubt yourself, and lack of sleep only furthers that doubt. I think our addicts loved us. The problem is now they love their substances more.