Needing support from people who understand
Good morning! I am a first timer posting but have been reading blogs for months. My STBXANH moved out on August 6th 2017. He sent me a txt telling me he left his keys and garage door opener on the table. Then completely cut me off as if I didn't exist. I have learned that I am codependent! I have been emotionally and verbally abused by a man that drinks whiskey and beer daily. Over the past year his drinking got worse and his involvement in household chores, participation in life in general as a husband and father came to a halt. It's been horrifying. I am thankful for the support of my in-laws! Yes that's right my in-laws. I have been beaten down so hard and am slowly getting back up. This Thanksgiving I saw him. He looked horrible. He was at his fathers on the phone with his grandmother. I heard him say..."I quit drinking" After he got off the phone he said he was leaving. I looked right at him and cheerfully wished him a happy Thanksgiving. He said it back from dead blood shot eyes not even looking at me but past me. He posted on fb the night before a beer and bottle of crown. No, I wasn't surprised. I have lost weight gotten lighter and brighter in my heart since he left. I don't walk on eggshells anymore. We have a son in his teens. I had to have my STBX checked by his atty for announcing our divorce on fb....my son saw it. Then again when he posted abut finding a woman with real chemistry to ignite his soul. Really! If the posts weren't bad enough the comments were worse! He lives in a fantasy land. He needed the replies to feed his narcissistic being. I can't believe this is the man I married! Letting go of the dream of what I thought our life would be is the hardest. Now when I look back on the 15 years I have been married and knowing him most of my life I see the signs. When I quit feeding into his narcissism he couldn't take it. Hid the whiskey behind a curtain, told me he hated me, threw his wedding ring at me and told me what to do with it, accused me of being with other men, trashed me and our life together to anyone who would listen. I do have anxiety at times but stay busy and pray an awful lot! Fortunately we signed our divorce papers and I have custodial rights to our son as well as the house. I have so much to be thankful for but I fear Monday the 4th of December as this is the day we go to court. I hope I can stand up and be strong. Keep me and my son in your prayers.