Glad you are back with us Linners 820. I have had similar issues for years: get 4-5 days sober; then feel pretty decent and my damaged brain starts thinking “well, this time I will just have a few—this time, I will stop at (2?3?4?5?). And then, when I start drinking, I tell myself that I have very great tolerance, so I “can have” say, 4 and be ok. When I’ve had 4 or so, then I’m invincible and I can just drink cause I am so swell! Of course, I’m actually just drunk and done it yet again!! My brain is really deluded by alcohol and my desire to “drink normally”. The truth has been revealed to me for 50 years: I cannot drink moderately. I do not want to drink moderately, really. I drink alcoholicly and destroy my body and my life. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and thinking the results will differ! Thus, I am truly insane when it comes to alcohol! I so relate to your struggles and all I know is I must keep trying—my very life is dependent on me not continuing to drink the poison carcinogen known as alcohol. Whatever it is for others, for me it is my mortal enemy!! I have seen so many who have overcome this. I know that you and I can do this! One day at a time!!!