I don't know, Joel. I feel for you, I really do. My encounters with addiction -- my mother, my ex-boyfriend -- have taught me a bit about true unconditional love.
One thing is that I must have it for myself before I can give it to anyone else.
The other is that loving someone unconditionally often means accepting them for exactly who they are at this moment, and letting go of who I wish they were. Sometimes a consequence of that acceptance is that I cannot have that person whom I love in my life anymore. "Unconditional" is not a state of loving that is rewarded with getting what you wish for. "Unconditional" is honest, it lets go of the fantasy, it affords everyone involved the dignity of reality.
I think it's natural for us to want the person who hurt to also be the one to heal us, but the reality is that they are often perfectly unequipped to do that.