Hugs and thanks to all of you, good reminders.
sylvie - that's actually a really good point. I broke up with him and asked him to move out, and that we could keep communication for the time being because he wanted to give me updates on his therapy / AA mtgs. I wasn't clear that I did not want to communicate if that was not happening. I'm going to do like you suggested - be very clear that he relapsed and I'd like to discontinue all contact at this time. Things were going fine and we were not really in communication since he moved out, but it's clear I need to set a firm boundary at this point.