Tough morning
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 12
Tough morning
My AXBF texted me at 6am, and I could tell he'd been out drinking. This is the first episode since he's been moved out; I'm guessing it won't be the last... it's an endless cycle for him. He never did end up attending an AA mtg.
What I want to do - is tell him I know he's been out drinking all night, tell him how disappointed I am in him.
What I'm trying to do -- is put it out of my mind, stay distracted, remind myself that this is why I broke up with him. He's clearly not ready to change and that's on him; he can choose to destroy his life however he wants.
But not responding, and saying what I want, is SO difficult.
What I want to do - is tell him I know he's been out drinking all night, tell him how disappointed I am in him.
What I'm trying to do -- is put it out of my mind, stay distracted, remind myself that this is why I broke up with him. He's clearly not ready to change and that's on him; he can choose to destroy his life however he wants.
But not responding, and saying what I want, is SO difficult.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,889
I went no-contact pretty early because otherwise I know I absolutely would have responded and been sucked back in. Yep we codependents are addicts too.
Good on you for not responding. Is blocking him an option for you?
Good on you for not responding. Is blocking him an option for you?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 12
Hugs and thanks to all of you, good reminders.
sylvie - that's actually a really good point. I broke up with him and asked him to move out, and that we could keep communication for the time being because he wanted to give me updates on his therapy / AA mtgs. I wasn't clear that I did not want to communicate if that was not happening. I'm going to do like you suggested - be very clear that he relapsed and I'd like to discontinue all contact at this time. Things were going fine and we were not really in communication since he moved out, but it's clear I need to set a firm boundary at this point.
sylvie - that's actually a really good point. I broke up with him and asked him to move out, and that we could keep communication for the time being because he wanted to give me updates on his therapy / AA mtgs. I wasn't clear that I did not want to communicate if that was not happening. I'm going to do like you suggested - be very clear that he relapsed and I'd like to discontinue all contact at this time. Things were going fine and we were not really in communication since he moved out, but it's clear I need to set a firm boundary at this point.
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