Tough morning

Old 11-15-2017, 05:17 AM
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Tough morning

My AXBF texted me at 6am, and I could tell he'd been out drinking. This is the first episode since he's been moved out; I'm guessing it won't be the last... it's an endless cycle for him. He never did end up attending an AA mtg.

What I want to do - is tell him I know he's been out drinking all night, tell him how disappointed I am in him.

What I'm trying to do -- is put it out of my mind, stay distracted, remind myself that this is why I broke up with him. He's clearly not ready to change and that's on him; he can choose to destroy his life however he wants.

But not responding, and saying what I want, is SO difficult.
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Old 11-15-2017, 05:34 AM
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The hardest thing in life is usually the best thing. Not responding is what you should do.
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Old 11-15-2017, 06:21 AM
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I went no-contact pretty early because otherwise I know I absolutely would have responded and been sucked back in. Yep we codependents are addicts too.

Good on you for not responding. Is blocking him an option for you?
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Old 11-15-2017, 06:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Bekindalways View Post
Good on you for not responding. Is blocking him an option for you?
^^^^^^
That’s what I’d do!
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Old 11-15-2017, 09:28 AM
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This is the first episode since he's been moved out; I'm guessing it won't be the last...
It CAN be the last episode! Blocking makes it way easier!

Hang in there, stay strong - you're doing great!
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Old 11-15-2017, 12:43 PM
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Hugs and thanks to all of you, good reminders.

sylvie - that's actually a really good point. I broke up with him and asked him to move out, and that we could keep communication for the time being because he wanted to give me updates on his therapy / AA mtgs. I wasn't clear that I did not want to communicate if that was not happening. I'm going to do like you suggested - be very clear that he relapsed and I'd like to discontinue all contact at this time. Things were going fine and we were not really in communication since he moved out, but it's clear I need to set a firm boundary at this point.
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Old 11-16-2017, 02:44 PM
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Good for you. You can do this.

You came here and vented instead of responding, which is a really great thing!

I just wanted to point that out so you can see that win for yourself!

Hugs!
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