You do have the ten months to look back on as in "I can do this" even if you weren't enjoying it. I too don't like AA meetings. I don't think they are for everyone. So if it isn't for you, pick another way to stay sober (there are a lot of different methods on this forum). I go by the "to each his own" principle. For certain people AA is the key to the lock of alcoholism. I haven't picked any particular program and am just using bits of whatever will work. That is my main priority. Use what works and if it doesn't, don't use it. Best of wishes to you desert.