mum.....you still have your grieving and mourning the loss, as you already know. What you may not k now is that it will take weeks to months for you to get your sea legs back....it will get better in increments....Grieving takes time....and you just have to soldier through it.....
I call it the short0term pain for the long-term gain......
I think the signing has made it all very real for you.....