I suppose that’s true, I did think it through for a second, I don’t know if I was actually considering it as I was reminding myself of how it goes with me + alcohol, a pretty painless little review, since I have already established that I don’t drink.
This perspective is important to me for several reasons. I’ve never had a sobriety like this: the kind where I feel like there’s this fence and I am firmly on the right side of it well into my second month, which has never been the case in the past, I have always been sitting right on top of that damned fence.
Believing this is important to me too, believing I am on the right side of sobriety is important, it is a form of faith actually, a faith I need right now. I have to believe I will not sink back into the death trap, with me: once I begin drinking again I never know how far down I will go and how long it will last, that is frankly a terrifying thought.