Grace
There but for the grace of God go I again. We relapse because we have Alcohol Use Disorder and it messes with our decision making abilities. Some more than others. And we don’t know where we are and will be. I was sober for 15+ years. Then started having a few. Well—now I am a chronic relapser, scrapping together 3-9 days at a time. And then? Well, someone says “white or red..”? and.....or someone “meets for drinks, I am feeling good and.....” All against my rational will; all despite vowing not to. Part of this is mental/ cognitive impairment. And no, I do not want to continue in a rational conscious mind sense. Obviously, other parts of me think I can “have just a few” despite almost 50 years of contrary proof.