JScatt

Hey everyone! I don't post much but I do read here everyday, still sober since mid May and a lot has to do with this great place.
Anyway, as I read everyday I see a few members who seem to relapse like once a week and each time its for the same reason, same trigger, same excuse and each time they are given great advice by long time sober folks.
Seems each time this advice is ignored and the person is back seeking advice on how to quit, same advice is given again, ignored again then the person is back again asking for advice on how to quit....YET AGAIN!
I've noticed this with some who have been members for years.
I guess my question is...How the heck are some of you guys so patient, when do you (if ever) just say "screw it, do what ya wanna do" especially when you are just repeating the same advice over and over and over?

ChloeRose63

Because we never give up hope.

Done4today

It will work when it is supposed to.

JScatt

Its great finding such great support amongst strangers who face the same struggles. I've relapsed more times than I can count but I've found a few new tools here that I never had before.
I don't know...I guess my frustration and the reason for this thread is it seems some just don't even try

Poppy79

They are trying by coming to this site and posting.. it's brutally hard to come back after a relapse, slip, falling off the horse.
Takes a whole load of courage to do that and I would hazard a guess these 'chronic' relapsers are trying extremely hard.
I truly hope the tools you have picked up here keep you from relapsing in the future and if you did relapse (please don't though) you would find the strength to come back here, because many don't come back and the ones that do should be shown empathy and support, not frustration.

ChloeRose63

If they weren't trying they would not be here. We "plant seeds" in hopes that they will flourish and grow. We wait and see but, we never give up hope that when the time is right they will become fully alive.

Dee74

I never forget it took me 15 years to quit.

Its easy to get distracted and my AV used to love a bit of judging others - anything to get me to take my eye off the ball..

My advice is focus on your own recovery JScatt - hows that going?

D

JScatt

"My advice is focus on your own recovery JScatt - hows that going?"

So in other words, mind my own business and don't ask such questions on SR.
Seems whenever someone is blunt and to the point on here they are deemed insensitive.

Soberwolf

Everyone is exactly where thier meant to be - Anna

Relapse is part of my addiction.. but not part of my recovery - Dee74

Patience doesn't come naturally neither does wisdom we make mistakes & learn how to hone these virtues - i personally think mistakes are the only way to see one's own fault

As for other people relapsing struggling or currently drinking - that means little to me if anything at all - who i am to judge ?

I feel bad for the pain anyone is in because of it i know i was once lost and I'm still finding myself today

Dee74

No. I'm not a great one for hidden messages. JScatt.

I think your original post came out a little insensitive yeah - but I'm guessing you have a good reason for posting your thoughts today.

Sometimes when I ask about a persons recovery I just really want to know how they're doing.

It might shine a light on why you made the post?

No one here wants to fight you or tear you down.

D

Chilledice

I was one of those chronic relapsers and I'm SO glad that the folks here never gave up on me or judged me.

SR is my place of sanctuary where I can share absolutely anything without fear of rejection.

Giving up on people is something that simply does not exist here!

August252015

It's not my business what anyone else is or is not doing. It is my role to be of service to others - I am an AAer and this is step 12- by sharing my ESH about my journey and being receptive when someone is ready to start their sober journey.

At the end of the day- I can be supportive and I can listen - and I can also choose not to read threads from those who follow the pattern you describe, or otherwise make me not want to be that person of service.

tomsteve

idk about others, but i can honestly say i sure as hell aint always patient.

why i sometimes will keep trying to carry the message:
although im not a chronic relapser( so far), there were times i needed the message delivered over and over to get through my thick skull.

Anna

Compassion, it's all about compassion.

Why on earth would I give up on someone who is here seeking support? Who am I to think 'Screw it, do what ya wanna do'?

And, thank you to my dear friend, Soberwolf, for remembering my comment, 'Everyone is where they are meant to be'. I don't rule the Universe.

Chilledice

Thank you for not giving up on us Anna

least

I am another chronic relapser who kept coming back here. It finally stuck and I have almost 8 yrs sober now. If not for the support here, I don't know where I'd be.

noneever

I am one of those chronic relapsers. But I refuse to give up hope that I can quit for good. And it's the good people here on SR who have contributed greatly to that hope. If you find it frustrating, can you imagine how it feels to the one who is binge drinking once a week, week after week? Frustrating doesn't cover it. It's hard, it's horrible and it makes you feel crap about yourself.
A bit of compassion goes a long way.

Verdantia

I have relapsed many times over the years; it is part of this terrible illness. I am in a very good place right now, but one day it may be different. It is my hope that something I say will be helpful to someone who is currently struggling. There is a lot of bravery here in people who fall off but keeping getting back on the recovery train. I just try to be compassionate, caring and understanding of all of our complicated journeys to sobriety and peace.

Delilah1

I joined SR in 2012, and I hit the 90 day mark and then relapsed, I spent the next there years alternating between failed attempts at moderation, and periods of sobriety, and each time I logged back in here and relied on the support of the amazing people on this site.

I know how difficult it is to log in and post a "Day One again," . I would not have 21 months sober now if it weren't for the caring, supportive advice and comments of others on SR.

I will always post a supportive message to someone struggling whether it is their first time logging in, or their 1000th time starting again. It just may be the time that makes a difference, they may need just that one encouraging word to get through the day.

Forward12

It's a revolving door, we can always hope the best.
Alcoholism is a monster that is tough to tame. We can only show our support to others, though in the end, keeping ourselves clean is the objective.