Positivity Needed
I've posted a lot on here in the past week and I do apologize.. but I am really struggling. My boyfriend, or ex, whatever he is, has gone from an occasional user of cocaine to a daily user of about 2-3 grams per day in just a few months. It has driven me to insanity and severe depression because my brother almost died from heroin.. so it's just a repeat of sadness for me.
He has been using cocaine on and off for years but it's never been this bad. He makes a lot of money... which is bad because money never becomes an issue when supporting his habit. He has always been able to maintain his job however I am having my doubts lately due to his increased usage. Anyway, he goes into psychosis and has severe paranoia. He thinks walls are moving and people are in his house trying to kill him. I haven't seen him in a week because all we do is argue and I break up with him and then take it back because I am weak. In a few weeks he has become so beyond nasty and cruel - it's like I don't even know him anymore. I've tried every tactic.. tried to be nice and positive, tried tough love, offered to find him rehabs, offered to go to NA meetings with him but he refuses. He told me last week he wanted space for a few days and didn't know if HE wanted to be with ME anymore. Crazy, I know. I decided to give him space. He has reached out a few times during this week saying he's thinking about me. I finally reached on 2 days ago .. he said he wanted be with me and work this out. Yesterday, he changed his mind and said he's still not sure.. I am assuming he was withdrawing when he said that.
I am considering this relationship over. However.. I still have a lot of my belongings at his house. He keeps telling me not to come over (I'm assuming because he has trashed his house - it's full of garbage now).. he says he will leave them at a random location and text me where they are. I'm so heartbroken someone could treat me this way. I am contemplating going to his place today unannounced just to check on him and to try to get my things. I do love him.. I am truly worried about him as I haven't heard from him in 24 hours .. I tried calling and texting and he ignored .. which Is not really like him.. What should I do? Any advice?