This is gaslighting. I experienced this sort of manipulative behavior in my relationship with an addict. It will make you feel like you are going crazy. Often with addiction that is quite progressed, the addict starts being manipulative as part of their lying. They lie to themselves about how serious their problem is, they lie to you, and when they feel their fabricated "reality" is threatened, they try to manipulate reality in order to keep the lie going. Anyway, this is what my AH was like. Your gut feelings are always correct. It's not you that is crazy. It's the addict that's got things all mixed up.
Originally Posted by
Soulful 
Bekindalways yes, thank you so much for posting that. I am going to try and reach out to the group. There are Spanish and English groups here and I don't mind attending either as I speak both languages.
What really messes up my mind is the acting "normal" afterwards. This is by far what I struggle with emotionally, because it makes me second guess myself. There is no second-guessing this time, especially when I hear him blow his nose, cough and sound so awful, but it's almost a trigger in my brain when I see him act normal like nothing happened. I feel like I am going crazy, like maybe I am really blowing things out of proportion. The photos and videos I have taken of him are a great reminder and they are real, but my emotions are very unstable when he behaves like there is no elephant in the room at all.
I would love to read more into this and how to properly deal with it, because as of right now, I just beat myself up and fight with my thoughts of: "maybe it's not a big deal, maybe I am making up stuff..."