I got to a similar point with coocaine after just a couple years.
It was tremendously hard to get clean, especially where I was living in a place I could have it delivered about any time day or night.
The psychological addition to the ritual and the intensity of the craving was unreal... at first it was about people I used with but then eventually it was just me, doing lines alone in my house and looking out all paranoid someone might come over. I was a slave and it wasn’t at all enjoyable.
I had to delete and block all dealers numbers, distance myself from friends who used and TOTALLY change up my habits to get away from it. Eventually I even moved to a different country, though by that time I’d managed several months without coke.
I feel ya, you can do this but it means cutting it loose entirely. I’d consider going away to a rehab or a vacation free from the familiar influences of you can. Give yourself a break and a way to step out of that habitual cycle for a while. Somewhere there will be zero chance of finding your way to a bindle.
You can do this and it will be so worth it