Hi QuietToday,
I am sincerely sorry but also happy to see that drinking has dried up your resources. Other mentioned this desperation can serve as the impetus you need to snap into reality and start owning your life. You want to live like an adult. No alcoholic especially at the stage you are at, can live like an adult.
Taking responsibility for yourself has been the solution from the get-go, drinking aside. I know, because I too, am 30 years old and after getting my Master's, I felt lost and frustrated with not being able to secure a job that would lead to the career I worked so hard for. So I lived at home with my parents and drank away the pain, fear and disappointment every night for almost two years. Day drinking, night drinking, wanting to be in oblivion, and my patient mother finding me and dragging my butt back home, nursing me back to health and dabbing antiseptic on skinned knees and elbows. I was breaking her heart and aging her terribly.
It didn't get better until I accepted full responsibility for my actions. My thoughts of drinking were just thoughts - very compelling ones albeit - but I made the conscious decision to keep drinking. So I decided to turn the table and commit to sobriety.
I joined a job agency after a year sober and now I am climbing up the pathway to a promising career in business development.
If I didn't get sober, I would have the great job I do now, my own home and my family's regained trust in me.
The solution begins with sobriety. So start researching options for accommodation and recovery. There are places to go to get help. And keep coming here. I also am coming back to recovery after a 3 month return to drinking. It gets better, Quiet. It's hard at first, but doing that leg work is part of the journey. You are never alone. Many have been in worse situations than you are now, and are now sober, healthy and grateful for it.