and continuing to have to deal with an angry, delusional ex.
I remember being in this stage, it was when I didn't know a healthier way for myself to deal with that delusional ex. It took me a while to implement healthier reactions and ways to balance the needed contact (the children).
Not only did I need to teach myself new ways I also needed to teach him new expectations. I limited my contact via the phone, I set regular times during the week for him to contact and talk with his children by phone and I didn't deviate from that schedule no matter how much he complained. I would follow up any nonsense he spewed over the phone with an email.
Example: He complained that the time I set for him to talk to his kids over the phone interfered with his job and that I needed to allow him to be more flexible.
My email would then read: based on our phone conversation tonight you feel that the time I have set between 630-800 pm on Tuesday and Thursday nights for you to talk with your kids over the phone interferes with your schedule and that you are proposing a time between 10pm-11pm would work better for you, is that correct? That would require me to wake the children on school nights to receive your call, I will be happy to meet you back in court to modify our original agreement and have a judge decide. Please advise how you'd like to proceed.
Of course he would never reply, was smart enough not to put his demands in writing but I taught him how I was going to handle his nonsense. That nonsense got less and less. And when he would attempt to berate me over the phone, I cut him off and said hold on I'll get the kids and didn't give him the time to dump on me.