I can understand. Things are much more calm for me now, but during the throes of texts from my XAH making me feel like crap, and trying to stay afloat, I felt the same way. Exhausted. Checked out.
Best thing I ever did was cut all that contact. Nope. If it's not about my children (and I don't mean opinions on this or that, but more just X child has X event on this day and time), I don't speak it.
I usto feel it was my duty to tell him how the kids were feeling in reaction to his terrible behaviors. What was going on. Trying to coparent, you know, like a normal person. He is no normal person, and I have realized I cannot have a regular coparenting relationship w/him. I fully accept that and do whatever I have to do for myself and my children. I have them in counseling so whatever comes their way they can handle it.
Big hugs.