Follow through with AA man. Seriously. That's your way out. The door is right there. Just gotta walk through it.
If you can do 30mtgs in 30 days or 60 in 60, etc, you have a chance for everything to work your way.
Keep your mind on the prize. No alcohol today and hit up a meeting today. Keep it simple. Just need to do 2 things and 1 of them is life or death. You pick.