Alcoholism is a family disease... it doesn't discriminate. It'll take us down, just as it will the ones who are drinking.
First step... awareness. It sounds like you're gaining this.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-involved.html (Alcoholism can and does cause insanity, for all involved)
One day at a time. Step away from judging yourself. (((Hugs)))