I most certainly agree with both OhioDad and Aries. I may have misrepresented myself. I still have no intentions of running back into anything with her. And the step father wants to keep me informed to protect me, and I do believe him. He has never stated, or acted as though they just want to dump her on me and I deal with it. In fact, he is upset with the mother for her taking her back in, and he is still besides himself with this whole thing. I may have mentioned earlier that he lost a son due to heroin about a year ago, and went through similar paces. He is well aware of the total lack of control one has over the situation, and is quite upset with the mother. He is especially upset with how she treated, and is currently treating everyone. But being married to the mother, he is trying to keep that peace without blowing up their own marriage, so he often would rather not partake in the stupidity, and takes care of his own life.
It's the damnedest thing to love someone and have to literally push them away from you. He and I are both experiencing that. I think the mother on the other hand can't see that, and can't respond accordingly.
I haven't talked to the mom in a while, and don't intend to any time soon. I have nothing against her, it's just not my problem. I understand I need to set boundaries with them as well, but honestly none of the ones I figured I would need to be guarded with have been crossed. Meaning I think the family is actually quite ashamed, embarrassed, and trying to figure out what to do with her. I think this is similar for her. Everything keeps failing at this stage. AND on top of that, you are thrown back to our home state, and are left with no one but mom. I'm sure shes thought of the dog, and me, and that only a few months ago, we were talking about a positive future, and she was in a vastly different place with the alcoholism than she is now. Proof is in the pudding that she makes terrible decisions on alcohol. Life changing decisions, that prove to be worse in the end for her. It is destructiveness at its finest.
I know you are all just being honest, and have very valid points (which I agree with). I just don't have a clue where things stand...let alone what her health is, or what she is thinking. This is why I read up and educate myself. I am just trying to understand the disease the best I can. I know it is subjective, but there are many common traits, and it is in my best interest to understand these as well as the behaviors. I hope you all understand. I don't see it as a time waster.