I'm sorry for what brings you here Capn, but I'm glad that you found this place. If it were me, I think I would see a counselor and an attorney immediately. I know you love your wife, but you have to protect yourself and your children as soon as possible. You don't have to get divorced but you do have to arrange things. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. There's no telling what her reaction will be. You will probably start feeling better when you start taking steps to address the problem. You have friends here. Hoping for peace for you and your family.