I was absolutely horrified to consider divorce. Horrified!! No one gets married to get divorced. I believed my vows as a promise to God and to our families. And yes, I held myself to a standard that was much higher than that of anyone around me...and to this day don't know why.
I suppose what made it easier for me to contemplate divorce was that my ex-husband is the one who asked and filed. He wanted to be free to pursue his girlfriend, you see. So it was literally out of my hands.
Also, I did try everything including counseling...but he refused to join me. I think the fact that I did try made the divorce a bit more palatable.
I don't know your faith beliefs, HH, and it's not my business. One thing to consider if you decide against sharing your day-to-day life and raising your children with an active alcoholic might be to separate permanently. Technically, you would still be married, but your finances and legal residences would be separate for the peace and safety of you and your children. I don't know your work status or if this would be a manageable option, but it might be something to consider.
You deserve peace...and joy, hearthealth! You will be in my prayers.