Right now you aren't in a place where you have reached the end of your rope. You saying you want your husband means you still think you can get what you had back. That's not bad...it's just that you don't see that will never happen.
If you can, try to see life without him. Without the drunk cop calls, without the DUI, without being "98%" sure he's not cheating...you deserve to have positive things to live for, not the drama he's handing you that you have accepted.
Get therapy and/or AA for you and your kids...learn, or re-learn, where your boundaries are and start sticking to them. You are allowing this to control your life. The fact that you came here says you know things are not right, at the same time feeling you just don't want to see it end. There's an in-between right now that will help you start to find your way through this.