I don't want a divorce. I want my husband back.
I think most of us here wanted that, too. I know I sure did. Unfortunately, it wasn't something that I could make happen, no matter how I tried. You won't be able to, either--it has to be
his decision, and from what you've posted, he is far, far away from that.
I would suggest reading around the forum as much as you possibly can--there is so much information and inspiration here. While you are certainly in a painful, awful situation, others have been where you are now and have found a path out of hell and into peace and happiness.
I would also suggest looking into Alanon. Alanon, together w/SR, was a great resource for support and education about alcoholism for me. Sounds like at least one of your children is old enough for Alateen, too.
And last, I'd schedule a consult w/a lawyer in your area to see what your legal rights are. A lawyer can answer your questions about leaving the house, whether you can file in your new location, etc. Many offer a free initial consult, so don't mess around, get the facts.
You and your kids deserve much better. By coming here, you've taken the first step in that direction. Good for you. Keep on reading and posting, and please do take action as soon as you can on the Alanon and lawyer consult.
It may be over, pp, but you are most emphatically NOT alone.
