GoodguyJoel

Thank you again for the replies. Each one points out something new and very relevant.

The threat of leaving her was only in the last month or two, and when she refused to stop, I used this as a way to convey severity. I never could actually bring myself to do it, but I did end up having her leave the house. The future between us was not off the table by any means at this point.

Dandylion, I do let me emotions flow, but this exercise may be exactly what I need, because sometimes I do hold back. atalose, you are exactly right, and I think I need to prepare for this eventuality as real. It may not be soon, but I should start to think about how I would handle it. Whatever conditions would bring her to think of me, she will see that I was an unconditional loving person towards her. It could go two ways...One where she is genuine, and has already began to pursue recovery...or the other which is the devil in sheeps clothing (aka still drinking).

It is evident from the people I have talked to that she is under the impression she is being judged. The reality is that no one was judging her for any of this, we all supported her in recovery and wanted nothing less than for her to pursue success in life. This is where there is clear distortion (among many other things). This distortion allows her to make choices that she believes are good, and she wont be judged for. These are words of her friends. This likely means that the guy she is with doesn't judge her for drinking, and making these choices (since he clearly made them with her). Whereas, no one in her support group was judging, but now are questioning her choices/don't support the drinking...she probably can't confront this that who she thought would all support her do not and hence run from it all. It makes it easier to forget everyone and move on. In fact, I am told, she isn't thinking much of me, or mentioning me. This lends to the idea of mentally blocking it out so that you can go on unjudged with a new person (however untrue it may be).

Her poor mother is dealing with the fact that she may never see her daughter again, and only wants to know she is alive. She feels used, and is trying to only support her now from a distance. In fact, she doesn't approve or like what she has become. I told her mother of this site the other day, and that she should get on here ASAP.

Again, here I am though, speaking of everyone but me...I can't help it at this point. Its not the "gossip tidbits" that I am enjoying in some sick way...Instead it is just the search for answers about the others behaviors. It is pretty clear that she is doing something with regard to her addiction (drinking, or maybe new drugs), but the extent is unknown. I recall it only took max about a month before she was worse than the last time. If this is the case, then maybe she is already down that rabbit hole...but as many of you said, if not immediately, well it will eventually come back, and likely worse than before. I do pray for her, and love her, and most of all want her to find her peace. But this does not seem to be the route to peace, it seems like self destruction.