Originally Posted by needleinthehey

Yes I am late to the party, and I'm in early recovery, but the issue of people on maintenance meds (Esp in NA) is something I keep running into and what I see really bothers me.

I'm 43 days clean from heroin today, and NO WAY could I have done it without NA. The way I detoxed was with a small amount of methadone I had saved from being in MMT. Very expired. I honestly don't know how much actual potency it had kept, but I did a pretty fast detox in about 5 weeks.

So while I have been the NA definition of "clean" I'm still struggling physically, and people notice sometimes. Methadone stays in your system a loooong time and I do not expect to be fully free of the rattle for 6-9 months. I harbor no illusions about this, and some days are better than others.

This is the first thing that royally pisses me off. I mean, you don't know me - do not make assumptions about what I am or am not doing and then judge me!!! At least get to know me! Watch me keep coming back to meetings. Listen to me when I share. Give me a chance before you condemn me because I have worked damn HARD to get where I am, and regardless of whether your intentions come from a good place or not, it feels craptastic to say the least, when this happens. I don't feel like it's anyone's business but mine- yet if I am to be taken seriously in the program, I feel pushed to "explain myself." F**+ those people. If anything pushes me away from the program, it will be this issue. Which scares me, because nothing else has ever worked.

Which brings me to my second major point: I believe that there are a significant number of people on maintenance (or coming off it) currently in the rooms, and I have witnessed firsthand, people being called out in front of others or being made to feel "less than" for it.

NA lip service tells newcomers that every one works the program in their own way, the only thing required for membership is a desire to stop using, and to keep coming back. But when the 'rubber meets the road' in actual practice, people on maintenance discover this is not really true. Despite the fact that some of these people are 100% abstinent from their DOC, and everything else but maintenance. And if they are in a detox, they NEED reinforcement and support.

Would they really rather these people not be in the meeting? Does all their hard work not count? I mean, I watched a person share how they were having horrible mental/physical issues in their recovery and were considering going on maintenance. This poor soul got BLASTED in front of the group by the next "sharer" in a sick, disgusting backhanded way.

So I struggle with this daily. I know I'll end up defending people and being "outspoken" - not toeing the Party Line, whatever... but I think NA needs to re evaluate. Or at least drag this issue into the light. It's a BIG problem. People WILL die as a result of this issue. They won't feel welcome in the rooms, and some will invariably leave. We all know where this leads, so very often.

Personally I'd rather have it out in the open and acknowledged as a "different" but still valid path. It's obvious who is working the program and who is not. Those who are not will usually be out of the rooms soon anyway. Those who are, deserve equal support as the rest of us. Thoughts?