Goodguy.....My friend, I think you are in the stage that I call "free bleeding" stage of grieving a loss...and, I know that the loss goes very, very deep.
I am not criticizing you for ruminating about the details...because that is a normal part of processing what has happened...OMG..I did that so much for several months....
So many stages to grief....so many emotions, and they all come to us in a kind of kalidescope form....
Yes, I can see that one of you defense mechanisms is intellectualization....not a bad thing, in itself...we all have to have defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from overwhelming emotional pain.
You keep mentioning the White Knight thing....I assume you are talking about the rescuer role. Don't try to put it all down to that....not ALL of it...though there can be that part in co-dependency....
Being as you are in biophysics and you have acknowledged a certain style of relating...all logic and intellectualization...order......
I can imagine that you could represent that which is solid...stable...predictable....and, especially, a person who would never leave them.
And, I imagine that makes you a sort of sitting duck for women who don't have their "stuff" together....that their radar picks up, even across a crowded room. That might be the hook of initial attraction, for them. (google IMAGO theory)...
And, of course, you have your hooks...possibly, in the other direction. lol...kind of like Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe....
I know that you are not looking for "sympathy".....you are looking for validation and sharing from other humans...and, I consider that to be a normal and healthy thing....
Your other questions....
Yes, I think the rehab romance will fail. And, yes, if she doesn't decide , at some point to face her problems..of which, alcoholism seems to be one of them, her life will get progressively worse.
It is possible that she will reach out to you in the future. That happens, lots of times. So, you need to be able to see it for what it is....looking for some shelter from her storm (about her needs--not yours!)....
It is a painful fact of life, that, we can be attracted to, and, invest our selves into that which is not really in our own best interest....
We are human....