honeypig

GGJ, have you had a chance to read around the forum in the past month? I see so many posts similar to your request here, where newcomers ask people to share their experiences on the newcomer's thread. As you see, many folks can and will do that, but there is no need for you to wait for the mountain to come to you; you can go to the mountain. There are tons of shared experiences on this forum just waiting to be read by motivated members. Many of the questions on your list can be answered simply by reading what has already been posted here--but that does take more time and effort...

Read the stickies. Read the forum at large. Post in other folks' threads--you have what, 7 posts in a month? Go offer somebody else some support, even if all it is is to wish them well. Don't know if you've been to Alanon, but one of their sayings about the program is "it works if you work it", and that goes for SR too. It's an ACTIVE resource for information, inspiration, and support for YOU, the person whose life has been affected by someone else's drinking. The more actively you take part in the SR community, the greater the healing you can expect, at least IMHO and IME.

You've spent an awful lot of time and energy worrying about your A, what makes her tick, how likely is it that she will get better, etc. Spend some of that time and energy on YOU, asking similar questions, and I think you'll get a better return on your effort.

Wishing you strength and clarity, GGJ.