Dear Anglehugs,
I am so sorry that this happened to you, it must have been so frightening. Cocaine is such awful stuff, kind of like alcohol in that once you start you can't stop until it is all gone. It's been 20 years, but I remember the sleepless nights listening to my heart pounding so hard I thought I would die. Some fun, huh?
Death is a real possiblility. It happened to John Bulushi, and countless other less famous people. I am glad that you will never do this again. You probably need to cut ties with whoever is supplying you with this poison.
My thoughts are with you, I hope you will feel normal again very soon.
Love,
Marilyn