AngelHugs,
I don't think it's easy or wise to be trying to get through this alone. You must have someone, anyone, nearby that you can confide in and who would be willing to put their arm around you and hold your hand while you get through this time? I mean a real physical person.
Even the ER would have been able to put you in touch immediately (or at least within hours to a day) with someone who would be willing to be your shoulder and help you get through the tunnel, help you stay afloat until you are swimming on your own.
Being by yourself during a time like this is never empowering.