Good luck BD,
As for confessing your sins, I would suggest think about the motive. Are you telling them to make you feel better or to help them? If you have an affair that she doesn't know about, then don't tell her. Find a friend, priest, or therapist and air all your dirty laundry. This might help you put it behind you so you can work on sobriety. Get sober, get a sponsor, work the steps and follow your sponsors advice. Good luck BD