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Old 10-09-2017, 07:21 PM
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Too gone

Guess I'm too gone. Wish I could talk to my wife but I guess that's gone. Help. Someone out there has to be in the same situation. without my wife, and kids, why not be dead?
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Old 10-09-2017, 07:24 PM
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Because dead is forever. A permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I'm not in the same situation, but have been close and if I just didn't drink things resolved themselves.
I wish that for you.
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Old 10-09-2017, 07:26 PM
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Because that's an easy way out that there's no coming back from.
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Old 10-09-2017, 08:12 PM
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No matter what the future looks like to you right now, it is not the future. You'll only know when you get there. At 20 years old I tried to kill myself and I was unsuccessful. I have two kids now, who are 6 and 4, and they are the best little troublemakers you could ever imagine. I couldn't see them 18 years ago, they weren't a possibility to me then. I couldn't imagine that they would exist. If I had succeeded in drowning myself they wouldn't.

My point is you don't know what the future holds. As dark as it seems right now, just promise yourself to keep going and trust God, fate, whatever, to take care of the rest. Never give up. We have to keep moving forward. The future is something we can't see right now, and it will be beautiful, and sometimes painful. But we have to keep going my friend. Praying for you!
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Old 10-09-2017, 08:19 PM
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Your never too gone. you have kids that will need you
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Old 10-09-2017, 08:20 PM
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If you need someone to talk to right away, call 1-800-273-8255.

I have found that a week, a few days, even a night's sleep has helped my perspective on things.
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Old 10-09-2017, 08:24 PM
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Please stop drinking. It's only making you more depressed. Don't do anything stupid or harmful. If you are drinking, you're not thinking sensibly. I hope you get rid of the alcohol and get some sleep.
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Old 10-09-2017, 08:53 PM
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Hi Bob

Drinking has a way of magnifying despair, and making things seem very black and white.

You drank again - ok that's not great but you can definitely come back from this

You are far from being too gone, man.

Many of us have relapsed, picked ourselves up, redoubled our efforts, made better plans and stayed sober

If you're feeling really low right now why not give a crisis line a call? some numbers and good reading here too:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ease-read.html (If you are feeling suicidal please read:)

D
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Old 10-10-2017, 04:57 AM
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Up this morning. Tears in my eyes reading posts. Pretty sure my wife knew about last night but said nothing this morning. She never holds back. This seems to be the only place I can talk.
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Old 10-10-2017, 05:04 AM
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Then keep "talking" to us!!
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Old 10-10-2017, 06:01 AM
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Thanks. I will. Sometimes think why does anyone want to hear my continuous whining. There are so many caring people on this site, it baffles me. I was raised to deal with things myself and not depend on others. This site may change my thinking.
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Old 10-10-2017, 06:05 AM
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I always see a lot of chat people online but I don't want to intrude on anyone. Is there a chat group available? The forum is great but very time lagged.
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Old 10-10-2017, 06:09 AM
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Don't know if I should confront my wife with this or just bury it with everything else. I want to share my issues but we don't talk about difficult things.
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Old 10-10-2017, 06:48 AM
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I found that honestly was the best practice for me initially Bob. It's not easy either - when we are drinking our default is to hide everything.

You cannot "confront" or explain away your addiction though. By being honest, i mean admitting that you have a problem - first to yourself, and then making an absolute commitment to do whatever it takes to quit drinking and get sober.

That's what I told my wife when I finally reached the decision to quit - that I know I have a problem and that I will do anything I can to fix it.
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Old 10-10-2017, 06:55 AM
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I know I have a problem and I'm sure she knows too. We just don't talk about it. We hit something tough and it gets buried.
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Old 10-10-2017, 07:19 AM
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I think I asked you in your last post if you've considered couples therapy to get help with your marriage?

I hope you decide to stop drinking for yourself. You are worth it!
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Old 10-10-2017, 07:25 AM
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If alcohol is causing a problem (and you admit it is) then stopping it is the solution.

I don't think couples' counselors work with active alcoholics. It's kind of pointless.

Everything - and I mean everything - becomes manageable and clear when alcohol is removed.

If you are finding that you cannot quit, how about hitting up an AA meeting or going to an Outpatient program for cessation of alcohol?

No one is too far gone.
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Old 10-10-2017, 07:30 AM
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Thank you anna. I look at our marriage as a 34 year commitment. I don't have that many years left in me. She has better genes. I don't want the pain of any separation with my remaining years. She is better than she talks. She is stubborn and quiet just like I am.
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Old 10-10-2017, 07:30 AM
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Originally Posted by bobdrop View Post
I know I have a problem and I'm sure she knows too. We just don't talk about it. We hit something tough and it gets buried.
I think talking about it is probably your best bet. If you can't do it on your own perhaps you need some intervention from a counselor/therapist as Anna suggests. But it certainly wouldn't hurt to just try and talk first. All you need to say is that you have a problem and you want to fix it. She may or may not be supportive but you'll never know if you don't say anything right?
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Old 10-10-2017, 07:37 AM
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I love my wife, but I have very negative views of myself.
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