There are two voices that jump out when I read your post: you, and your AV. You are wanting to change, seeing that a future without alcohol is possible; and your AV, who is finding excuses like "I was feeling too good".
I get this from your post, because it feels like something I said a year ago. I can feel you wanting to be sober, and I hope you do. But you've got to make a change, right now, to begin that life. Any change towards a better life, even something small, but do it now. Don't imagine anymore, do it.