Hi tko, and welcome. I don't post here often anymore but your post got my attention. I was filled with anxiety just reading about your struggles to taper off your alcohol usage. It's been close to 3 years since I last tried that and I still remember how miserable and half-crazy it made me. I did manage to make it "work" once, but I celebrated by having extra drinks. It never worked again, and was unsustainable to begin with. As Scott pointed out, if you weren't addicted to alcohol, this would be a non-issue, but if you are, the inability to manage your drinking on your own is exactly why you are here.
Your drinking habits sound very much like mine were - a 5th/day, give or take - and I was a daily drinker. I tried many different ways to stop, but unfortunately (or fortunately, depending upon how you look at it), I had to lose nearly everything before I stopped trying to figure it all out myself. Becoming an AA member, getting a sponsor, and working the steps has kept me sober these past 2 1/2 years. It was the last thing I ever wanted to try, but the first thing that actually has worked.
Whatever you do to get your drinking problem under control, if you determine that you are addicted and unable to successfully and consistently keep it under control, I urge you to get help with it. Also as Scott pointed out, mixing alcohol and benzos is very dangerous. You should definitely confide in your doctor about everything you are putting into your body, including the alcohol.