Good work groserease . After 45 years of drinking there are 45 years of memories and it wasn,t always bad . The subconscious is going to randomly throw some memories to the surface good ones and bad ones . I think the so called AV is just a memory of when times were good and its human nature to occasionally dwell on good memories , its knowing that with alcohol the good times didn't last for us and know that to dwell on those memories is unhealthy at best and catastrophic at worst for the alcoholic .