I went to AA for years. Back in the mid 90's, i went to an all men's group who were extremists in how they applied the steps in their lives.
Everything was black and white. With these guys, you're either willing to do what they say, or you're doomed to repeat the past. That's how they understood ...
"Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program,
usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of be ing honest with themselves.There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which
demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average."
To me, that was fu#ked. That passage can mean 10 different things.
This is where I think people start to stumble. They take those words in their literal meaning and run with them. Then for whatever reason when the new person reaches an inpasse, such as the 4th, the 5th and 9th step they decide they simply cannot go any further..Then they give up, drink and they go back to step 1.
I had a terrible time with 4 and 5. I honestly had no want or need to unburden my soul to someone who was just my sponsor.
So does this mean you are constitutionally incapable of success at AA? They thought so.
Well, that's just one group...
Fast forward 25 years and I've gone to 1 AA meeting since I got out of IOP. I've stayed sober longer than i ever have in my life. However, i do attend therapy. And tomorrow i will have 19 months.
So do i believe there is another way? Hell yes.
For me, therapy is FAR more beneficial than AA ever was. I believed in the fellowship and the working with another struggling soul, but in a lot of ways-even those with 25 years or more, it was still the diseased blind leading the diseased blind. I think the sickness itself, or at least mine can be most helped by a professional.
I think you can still benefit from AA if you can seperate yourself from it's literal interpretation. Just take what you need and leave the rest.
It only has to be as complicated as you allow it to be.
Good luck, and hang in there.