When I was with my AH, I tried to talk to him about AA, but he said that AA was for crazy people, not logical sane people. He said he could deal with his own problems. So I read a bunch of articles about how tough love was not the right way to treat addiction. I have since found that my "soft" love made him sicker and also made me sick. It destroyed my health. It showed him there were no consequences to his drug use until he started to behave as if there were no consequences to his treatment of other people. I feel bad for what my AH went though, I feel bad for the way he treated me. I think that if he had been in jail, things would have been better for everyone -- both him and me.
Please do not bail him out. It's not easy but it's the best thing to do. Addiction is never easy for anyone. I'm so sorry that he's put you in this situation and that everyone has to suffer. I hope that he can find his peace and enter recovery fully. I hope that you can heal from this awful, awful thing that has happened to you.