Oh Lisa, I'm so sorry to hear that your mother passed away. I know what that feels like. My father passed away on August 14th after a two-week illness. He died of an esophageal varice (hemorrhage) caused by cancer of the esophagus. He, too, deterioriated rapidly, and I hardly had a chance to adjust to the news or to say goodbye. But I'm grateful I was able to be at his side when he passed away.
Alcoholism is an insidious disease that claims many victims, and many non-drinkers like you become victims of the disease, too. I'm so sorry for your losss and I'm so sorry that your birthday was marked by such a sad occasion.
Sending prayers your way.