28 days sober after scaring myself
Well I've managed to get to 28 days sober today. I'm quite surprised actually. I've got an app on my phone that reminds me, and when I looked at it today I thought wow! How the hell did I do that?!
It's been ok so far, but very lonely. I'm being a bit reclusive and not going out much. I live in a small village where everything revolves around the pubs and the only way I can cope is to just stay away from it all.
The last time I drank I really frightened myself and I think it's shocked me so much that I'm too scared to go anywhere near alcohol again. I cheated on my husband with a virtual stranger after drinking a crazy amount of wine. I don't even know how it happened as I sort of came to in the middle of a blackout and found myself with this guy. I'm so ashamed. When I sobered up I completely freaked out and couldn't believe what I'd done. I still can't believe it. The guilt is eating away at me every single day and I'm terrified that I might bump into him again. That's the trouble with living in a small village.
I couldn't feel any worse about what I did and I don't really know how to move on from it. I can't tell my husband because that would mean the end of my marriage and I'm terrified of losing him. All I'm focusing on is the fact that I've been sober for 28 days and I've just got to keep going. I wonder if I will ever be able to live with myself and the guilt of what I did?