Thanks folks
I didn't do too well at weekend . Ended up in a local bar with said "friend"
My own fault for going , I am not blaming anyone . There was a huge fight and although I wasn't involved( I was trying to get pull my friend away) I got hit on the head by a pool cue or ball or a bottle, I still don't know. I am actually glad it happened as I am absolutely sick of the scene, those places and this pattern. So I started again on Monday and I am on day 3. I am utterly exhausted and anxious and a little bewildered but I know the withdrawal will pass.
What I will be left with I don't know. Dealing with unresolved issues, guilt , depression and lonelines; I know this will be what's in store and that's ok. Rather that than plummet into insanity and more trouble.
Sunday I asked my pal (in pub) I'm done with drinking and he said he wouldn't try and tempt me. He text after work on Monday asking to go drinking. I've had to be firm. I'll find some new friends and in time maybe reconnect with some old ones who have distanced themselves due to my self destructive behaviour past few years .
Thanks for replying folks and for the advice. I hope you are all well today.