Bail them out or let them sit in jail?
For the past 8 months my family has been dealing with my brother's substance abuse issues that came to light. We first "rescued" him, getting him into outpatient treatment, which didn't work. He left and quickly ended up in jail. After a lot of fighting, my parents bailed him out within 6 hours. He went straight into detox, dealt w/ court hearings (where he got an unbelievably good deal), and then my mom put out money to get him into a rehab program. Things seemed to be going well, he got out, moved I with my mom with very simple ground rules. After about 8 weeks, we found he was using again. We gave him the option of getting help or leaving, and he chose to leave. Within a day, he found himself back in jail. He didn't call anyone .... I had to find out by a search online. Now we're getting calls from him, begging to be bailed out....that he needs help, that he wants to go back to detox.
Logically I know we shouldn't do it...let him feel the consequences of his actions. But it is so hard for me to turn off the worry and protective side. I'm just so torn whether to leave him there until his next court date .... or bail him out and take him straight back to detox. I guess I'm just not good at "Detaching lovingly."
I just don't know what to do.