Hi mielz,
Welcome! This is a great place and will help you a lot.
I too had quit for 5 years, and then thought I could drink again during a traumatic time. Right away I was back where I had left off.
It took some time before I quit again, and now I am 7 1/2 mos. without a drop.
You can do it! Just decide to do it. Come here every day and read and post. It will help.
Sending you strength and (((hugs))).