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Old 09-13-2017, 05:21 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Fusion
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
As I learnt AVRT, my Beast detested it's cold and harsh approach. It wanted sympathy, hand-holding, lots of hugs, smileys and attention. I once had a Beast-led hissy-fit , here on SR, because someone didn't 'thumbs-up' my post. I kid you not, how shameful.

The trouble was, I'd tried the support and sympathy route, but it didn't work for me. In fact, it gave my Beast additional ammunition to prompt me to drink more, because, I was an 'alcoholic', with 'underlying issues', 'a hole in my soul' etc., so it wasn't my fault that I couldn't stop drinking....'poor me, poor me, pour me another drink' it said. And I did.

On reflection, the reason I started drinking was for pleasure, which may take many forms: heightening or dulling or avoidance or relief from thoughts, feelings and emotions. The addicted part of my brain sought to make me feel better, even though I was to be sacrificed for the rapidly diminishing 'pleasure'.

Towards the end of my drinking history, the first drink taken in the morning staved off the withdrawals. Although it didn't feel much like pleasure, it was pleasure in the form of relief, in that the alcohol was operant in the same pleasure centre parts of my brain, as it was decades ago when I was just an occasional drinker.

The addicted part of my brain cannot rationalise, the Beast, lives only in the 'now', hellbent on instant gratification, pleasure. After drinking my daily three bottles of wine, I'd swear at night that I'd taper tomorrow and stop drinking, yet the next day.......I'd drink. It was madness. But as I read the research into the process of addiction in my brain, I viewed it as a pre-set, habituated program, drink, drink, drink, without logic or reasoning, no matter what the repercussions. To counter it, the BP of AVRT is premised upon the same logic, don't drink no matter what.
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