Missing joining in the fun
I've been sober 138 days. Yippee.
Tonight I went over to a neighbor's house for dinnner and 3 of the 4 of us were drinking beer. At some point at the end of the evening, someone asked me how not drinking was going and I said great, I feel good and have fun.
But as soon as I said it I realized for that moment it wasn't true.
I would rather have been having beers, or vodka drinks as they sometimes do. Yes that would in fact make me happier and be more fun.
But I went home, no drinks. No cravings, and I fully accept I can't have any and it's my AV talking, but I still feel sad as I go to bed.
Like a friend I'll never see again.