My Final Straw
Drank half a bottle of Macallan at night and then took an ambien to sleep. Then woke up at 3am and made a deal with myself that I could take another ambien to go back to sleep, but only if I had one dram of the scotch to relax.
Woke up at 2pm later in the afternoon to discover that same bottle was empty. That was me at my worst. I am lucky to have escaped. And that then and there, I decided the gig was up.
Knowing how close I had come to the other side makes me grateful for sobriety and the fight to maintain it. Day 35 for me? Have to look at calendar to really calculate, not caught up in that. I learned that although I might not be an alcoholic in the sense I was brought up to understand it (absolutely needing to drink and dependent), I am an alcohol abuser 100% of the time when I drink. So best to avoid.
Might also add, have lost 12 pounds in a month and focus all my energy on work and fitness.