Thanks FormerDoormat, I feel this is the root of my problems and I never thought of my cop incident the way you put it but your right, it supports this reasoning even more. My friend who informed me of the root of the issue also said as everyone here has said that I must learn to believe in myself, and once I can do that, I wont need any of these external attention or validation to be happy, I will be able to fly in life if I can learn to believe.
The main thing I was left with after she told me this was what to do about it... she did not know the answer to it but said she believes I will overcome it.
Your posting confirmed and further extended the analysis to include a solution which I was going to start seeking, or am seeking, thus my latest posting. I didnt know Al-Anon could teach you the things you listed, I am not sure I really understood "taking care of yourself" the way you defined it...
I was told by my therapist to go to CODA meeting instead of Al-Anon cause she said I dont have a member around me who is addicted to drugs, do you think CODA would be just as fine? This way I could meet the requirements of my therapist and also try to find how to solve this desire for attention problem...
I read your posting many times by the way, thanks for helping...