KH89......I can see that this has taken a terrible toll on you. Thankfully, you do seem to have enough survival instinct to understand the need to care for yourself and those kids....even if you do love him. You can probably see, already, that love is not enough to protect the family from the destructiveness of this disease......That is a big reality to accept, I know.....
Recovery takes time...and, you need to be willing to give time. Time for yourself to get clear about what you want to go forward.....
***If he is to get into genuine recovery and be willing to work a vigorous program (like AA) for the rest of his life...it takes time.....
Don't make the mistake of jumping back into the pot, because of his pleas, or your personal lonliness.
Educate yourself about what the early recovery period is really about...so that you know what you are really up against. Your decisions must be based on reality.....
I am going to give you a link to the Classic Reading section of our Stickies....The stickies are listed above the threads.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...c-reading.html
I suggest that you begin reading some of these articles.....they are a good library of information about alcoholism and the effects on the loved ones......